You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Your dad touched me again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
