Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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