mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize