How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize