Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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