Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
