Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
