Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
