what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
