I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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