dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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