You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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