i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
