Screwed.edu
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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