Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
