There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
