She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
