My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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