New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
