Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
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so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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