Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
