I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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