my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
