turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
