My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize