either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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