Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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