My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
