If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There r osticjed everywhere
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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