if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
