Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize