Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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