I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
