I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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