okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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