He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we made out on top of his cat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize