So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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