so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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