I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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