I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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