Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
