oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
