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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
