i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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