Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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