I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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