the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
