but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
