can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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