dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
