Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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