I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
