return my video game
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My vagina is officially offended.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
