I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
