Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
