I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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