I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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