Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
