You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
