another moral hangover. fuck.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
