Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
