guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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