You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
