You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
