oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
